140 Racing Jokes That’ll Drive You Mad With Laughter

140 Racing Jokes That’ll Drive You Mad With Laughter

Aren’t cars the funniest things? Just glance at a Fiat Multipla, for example, and you’ll find that an inanimate object is the source of involuntary laughter. All of a sudden, you’re picturing this inanimate thing in a variety of realistic settings and thinking about its absurd personality Nascar qualifying lineup for sunday. Racing Jokes Jokes…

Aren’t cars the funniest things? Just glance at a Fiat Multipla, for example, and you’ll find that an inanimate object is the source of involuntary laughter. All of a sudden, you’re picturing this inanimate thing in a variety of realistic settings and thinking about its absurd personality Nascar qualifying lineup for sunday.

Racing Jokes

Jokes about racing are a specific kind of comedy that focus on various racing-related sports and events. The main topics of jokes about racing revolve around universally understood baseline concepts and traits. As such, the comedy is agreeable and easily understood. Sometimes a deeper understanding of motorsports, race car drivers, and animal racing is required to set up a racing joke. Still, the quips’ topics and tone make use of well-known language and punchlines that appeal to both fans and non-fans.

The funniest jokes about racing have a basic structure. The jokes all include racing-related themes, such as winning, speed, drivers, tracks, and contests. Funny puns, names, one-liners, and other wordplay pertaining to racing all follow a similar format and allow for further specialized humor. Some jokes, such as those about Formula 1 or NASCAR in particular, target the stereotypes of the driver and fan. By doing this, the punchline gains more depth without sacrificing well-known concepts that are universally understood.

Racing jokes are a specialized kind of comedy, thus there isn’t much market for them. Still, the jokes have a simple comedic style that is worth disseminating. Jokes about bike racing and barrel racing are funny even for non-racing enthusiasts. Most humorous jokes about racing are broad and appealing to many audiences, based on the idea of racing.

Aren’t cars the funniest things? Just glance at a Fiat Multipla, for example, and you’ll find that an inanimate object is the source of involuntary laughter. All of a sudden, you’re picturing this inanimate thing in a variety of realistic settings and thinking about its absurd personality. A automobile race is one of those, of course. Since cars are meant to do that, right? Now that you’ve placed a Multipla in such a setting, you’re laughing even harder and are relieved that you happened to open this hilarious article about racing. Since you can now be certain that they will be the funniest!

140 Racing Jokes That’ll Drive You Mad With Laughter

Jokes about racing cars wouldn’t really be funny if they didn’t mention the drivers, isn’t that right? Therefore, you should undoubtedly anticipate some lighthearted jeers directed toward including those operating the vehicle. Nothing more than a little bit of lighthearted enjoyment. We’ll talk about fans in our car racing jokes as well, since a race wouldn’t truly be a show without them. Once more, only a tiny bit of humor. A good portion of them are just automobile jokes because the most of the amusement in this place will be focused on the cars themselves. And that’s an entire carnival, not just a tiny bit of entertainment!

We believe we have piqued your interest sufficiently at this point, so it’s probably time to move on to the actual auto racing jokes. If so, check out these hilarious jokes by scrolling down below! Make sure to vote for your favorite jokes within the group and forward this post to your friends that love cars!

#1

“I keep trying to watch racing on my computer but every time I press the F1 key it just opens a help window.”

#2

“Who won the 1975 F1 World Championship?”

“Lauda.”

“WHO WON THE 1975 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP?!”

#3

Why did the bicycle not enter the car race?

It was too tired.

#4

What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits?

Speedos!

#5

What do you get when you cross a racecar with a spud?

Crashed potatoes.

#6

What sort of racehorses come out after dark?

Night-mares.

#7

“My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with Formula 1. And it’s lights out and away they go!”

#8

“My racehorse’s name is Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.” ADVERTISEMENT.

#9

“I went to a drag race last Saturday. I still can’t believe the guy in high heels won.”

#10

Rules of drag races are pr etty straightforward to understand.

#11

“I was in a bar the other day, when a girl asked me, “what do you do?” I responded, “I race cars.” Screeching with excitement, she shot back, “do you win many races!?” I sighed, “no, the cars are much faster…””

#12

“My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed. Jokes on him I sleep in a real car.”

#13

What do we want?

Race car noises.

When do we want them?

Neoooooooooooooooooooooow.

#14

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:

“Doc, I’m a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It’s utterly depressing… I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It’s crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I’ll never get to enjoy it…”

“Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.”

“Is he a mechanic too doc?”

“No, a gynecologist”

#15

Why did the car get disqualified from the neighborhood drag race?

No spoilers!

#16

What’s the difference between a velodrome and a palindrome?

For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.

#17

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

#18

“I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.”

#19

What is a cat’s favorite racing game? Grand Purrismo.

#20

What’s the difference between praying in church and at the track?

At the track you really mean it!

#21

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start with a large fortune.

#22

Which side of a racehorse has more hair? The outside.

#23

What do parents give their baby if they want them to become a future race car driver? Formula One.

#24

Where did the Helsinki Marathon end?

At the Finnish line.

#25

“My girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a racing car out of spaghetti… You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.”

#26

A car made of French bread just raced past me.

It was a Baguetti Veyron.

#27

Why did the electric car finish the race early?

It had a short circuit.

#28

Elon Musk launched the falcon heavy hoping to start a space race…

Of course he wants a space race, he’s the only one with a car up there.

#29

“R stands for Racing. That’s exactly what I thought before shifting the gear on my car to R at 120 mph.”

#30

The quickest way to become a millionaire is to become a professional race car driver…

You just need to start off as a billionaire.

#31

What’s a race car’s favorite thing to eat for lunch?

Fast food!

#32

Why did the zombie come last in the NASCAR race?

He left his foot on the brakes.

#33

Why don’t racecar drivers eat before a race.

So they don’t get Indy-gestion.

#34

If Robert Pressley, John Andretti and Geoff Bodine were in a boat and the Boat Sinks, Who Would be saved?

Half the cars in Sundays Race.

#35

“I was challenged to a race by the same British-made car I was driving. It was a Jag war.”

#36

“My sweetheart is always taking health food crazes too far. Now, it’s even affecting my driving. She took the carb-orator off my car!”

#37

What did the ace car say to the letter R?

#38

A Mechanic is standing outside the garage as Roger Penske is coming in to check out the new Taurus, and can’t help but notice that Mr. Penske has a Dog under each arm.
The Mechanic waves and says, “Welcome back, Roger, Nice dogs, sir.”
Penske smiles and says, “These aren’t dogs. These are genuine Labrador Retrievers. I got this one for Rusty, and I got this one for Jeremy.”

The mechanic says, “Good trade, sir.”

#39

Al Unser Jr calls the police, and says, “They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, Hell, they even stole my gas pedal…”

Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, “Hey, never mind, I’m in the back seat.”

#40

A cheetah and a lion are racing in Africa.

After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: “Man, you’re a cheetah.”

And the cheetah says: “Naw man, you’re lion”.

#41

Why is the internet like a motor racing crash?

There are spoilers everywhere.

#42

“I took the shell off my racing snail to see if it would make it go any faster. It just made it more sluggish.”

#43

Three racing drivers driving from Boston to Disneyland.

After three days they arrived at their destination and turned around and went home after they saw the sign saying: “Disneyland left.”

#44

How do you make a million dollars dirt racing?

Start with 2 million!

#45

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast!

#46

What did the tomato tell the other tomato during a race?

Ketchup.

#47

What do you call it when two photographic journalists from Helsinki are racing to get a picture of the next top news story?

A photo Finnish.

#48

What is a vampire’s favorite racing game?

Need for Bleed.

#49

Why was the runner in the marathon stopped and taken to jail?

He was resisting a rest.

#50

What is it called when a knife joins a track team?

Blade Runner.

#51

What do you call a cat race?

A Meow-Athon.

#52

Why did the legless dude think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

#53

What happens to a person if they run behind a car?

They get exhaust-ed.

#54

Do you want to hear a racing joke?

Never mind. That one’s re-tired.

#55

Because the lettuce are always a head, and the tomatoes are always trying to ketchup!

Why can’t tomatoes win races against lettuce?

#56

“The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.”

#57

“I was going to go greyhound racing this weekend but decided against it… They’re too fast. I’d never win.”

#58

Why could the pony proceed at a great speed?

Because the pony had a powerful horsepower engine.

#59

Why did the owner name his racehorse “Bad News”?

Because bad news travels fast.

#60

“I keep trying to get into horse racing, but they’re too fast for me.”

#61

How many NASCAR drivers does it take to destroy a jet dryer?

Just Juan!

#62

What do you call two consecutive wins at Monaco?

A back Tabac win.

#63

“My friend had to choose his favourite Brazilian racing driver. He couldn’t Piquet driver.”

#64

Why couldn’t Matthew McConaughey make it as a NASCAR driver?

Because he always went alright, alright, alright.

#65

“How can you watch NASCAR when they only make left turns all the time?”

“If they went straight they’d never come back!”

#66

“I like to race electric cars in my free time. I’m an e-racer.”

#67

Why are there no winning race car drivers from Switzerland?

They’re always in neutral.

#68

What kind of track does a clown car race on?

A laugh track!

#69

Did you hear about the guy who really loved car races?

He thought they were wheely cool!

#70

The snowman had to give up running eventually.

He just couldn’t warm up.

#71

A cop was waiting in a speed trap on the interstate when a guy in a sport car came racing by him at over a 100 mph. The cop immediately pulls out behind the speedster and turns on his lights. The guy pulls over and the cop walks over to the window.
The cop looks at the guy smiling and says, “I’ve been waiting for someone like you all day.”
The guy responds, “well, I came as fast as I could.”

#72

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a spoiler on it.

#73

Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice?

They’re trained to look for red flags.

#74

“I just removed a wig, some lipstick and two chicken fillets off my racecar… You could say I significantly reduced the drag.”

#75

Boy: “what’s a palindrome?”

Teacher: “racecar”

(10 years later)

Boy, now a man, bursting out of bank in ski mask: “where’s the palindrome?”

Getaway driver:

#76

If a piano player is called a pianist, wouldn’t a racecar driver be called a racist?

#77

What do you call 1,000 Restrictor plates at the bottom of the ocean?

A Good Start.

#78

How can you tell when a NASCAR fan is watching a Formula One race?

When he taps you on the shoulder and asks “Are we watching qualifying?”

#79

What do you call Michael Waltrip racing with his car tied to the back of Jeff Gordon’s?

A true restrictor plate.

#80

A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr is doing.
The bartender says, “Earnhardts is in 25th.”
The dog jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times.
A couple of laps later, the bartender says, “Earnhardt Jr is up to 10th.”
The dog jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times.
A few laps later, the bartender says, “Earnhardt Jr is up to 3rd”, after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times.
The bartender says, “WOW! That dog is amazing!! What does he do if Earnhardt Jr wins?”

“I don’t know”, says the man, “I’ve only had him for 2 years!”

#81

What’s the hardest part about drag racing?

Running in heels.

#82

Why should you never race a Muslim during Ramadan?

They fast during Ramadan!

#83

“My favorite gambling event is horse racing, but I’m bad at it. No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster.”

#84

“I’ve been breeding racing deer. Just trying to make a quick buck.”

#85

Why are pigs such bad drivers?

Because they hog the road!

#86

What do you get when you run in front of a car?

#87

My horse came in so late the jockey was wearing pajamas.

#88

Chuck Norris and Time raced twenty years ago.

The result is inconclusive because Time is still running till today.

#89

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

#90

“I bought a horse. In its first race it went out 25 to 1. The only problem is that all the other horses left at 12:30.”

#91

A jockey is talking to the trainer ahead of the race.

“You got to ride him to win,” the trainer says, “because I’ve got a monkey on this horse, and so has my wife.”

“Will there be any room for me?,” the jockey asks.

#92

Why was Jupiter disqualified from the race between the planets?

He was caught taking asteroids.

#93

“Mum, I just won this phone in a race!”

“Who was in the race?”

“The owner of the phone and the police. I think they’re at the door to congratulate me.”

#94

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guy says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”

“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

#95

Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?

One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.

#96

Why did the DJ get disqualified from the 400m sprint?

He kept changing tracks.

#97

The trainer was giving last minute instructions to the jockey and appeared to slip something into the horse’s mouth just as a steward walked by.

“What was that?” inquired the steward.

“Oh nothing,” said the trainer, “just a polo”.

He offered one to the steward and had one himself.

After the suspicious steward had left the scene the trainer continued with his instructions, “Just keep on the rail. You are on a certainty. The only thing that could possibly pass you down the home straight is either the steward or me.”

#98

What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?

Thoroughbred.

#99

“I bet on a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.”

100

“I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.”

101

You know why barrel racers need to be cremated?

Because if you bury them they’ll complain about the dirt.

102

“Why are people in Finland so important to motor racing? I just don’t understand why they wave the Finnish flag at the end of the Grand Prix.”

103

“I’m thinking about getting into drag racing. It looks pretty straight forward.”

104

What sound do drag racing street sweepers make?

Broom Broom.

105

“I watched a documentary about car racing, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought. Too many spoilers.”

106

Why does the Buddha sit crossed legged when racing cars?

To achieve a perfect lap.

107

Dad pulls up to a red light, car next to him revs the engine and yells, “race?”

Dad responds, “Hispanic!”

108

“When I was young I asked my dad why cops don’t just use race cars to catch people because they are so fast. His response was, “Because they only make left turns””

109

“What’s his name, Niki…?”

“Lauda.”

“WHAT’S HIS NAME, NIKI…?!”

110

“My car’s name is Word and there’s a race tomorrow. But don’t take my word for it.”

111

It’s not called driving with a mask on.

It’s Mask Car Racing.

112

“Both my wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction. And they’re off.”

113

Did you hear about the gardener who got lost during a race?

Apparently, she took the wrong route.

114

The racing driver can’t work out why he’s come in last in a race despite using the fastest, most technologically advanced car.

With his team’s support, he checks the vehicle and finds three men in large dresses, full make-up and wigs sitting on the roof.

“There’s the problem,” says the engineer. “Too much drag.”

115

“I recently bought a second hand car. It only had one previous owner, a little old lady, who only used it once a week, on a Sunday. When she took it drag racing.”

116

What is Kevin Harvick’s favorite color?

Caution Flag Yellow.

117

Do race drivers stop and take a nap?

Yeah, when they are getting tired.

118

Have you Heard? Bobby Labonte is in the Hospital!

Apparently he hasn’t passed anything for almost 2 years!

119

Have you heard?

Jeff Burton went to work for the telephone company so he could finally get on pole.

120

Did you hear about the racing driver who wore a glove on one hand?

The forecaster said: “Tomorrow may be hot, but on the other hand, it could be cold.”

121

What is the longest running race?

The human race!

122

How did a barber win the race?

It was quite simple, he knew a short cut through your hair.

123

What did the tornado say to the car?

“Want to go for a spin?”

124

What did Jack say to the car?

“Can I give you a lift?”

125

“I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt. But then it clicked.”

126

“If you could get rid of any race, which would you choose? I’d pick the 400 meters, it’s too long for a sprint and it’s too short to be a true endurance race.”

127

You’re so dumb, you have to stop during track workouts to ask for directions.

128

Joe Palmer, the late racing expert, told about a man from Idaho who breezed into Kentucky with a six-year-old horse that had never raced before, but which he entered for a race.

The horse won easily and paid a whopping price.

The racing stewards did not like the look of the thing and questioned the owner.

“Is this horse unsound?” they asked.

“Not a bit,” said the owner.

“In that case,” asked the stewards, “why have you never raced him before?” “Mister,” said the man from Idaho, “we couldn’t even catch the critter until he was five years old.”

129

When it’s neck to neck.

When do vampires like horse racing?

130

It would have been a photo finish, but by the time my horse finished, it was too dark to take a picture.

131

What are the four most famous words at at The Indy 500?

“Andretti is slowing down…”

132

What does a race car driver say when he has nothing else to say in an argument?

“Mph.”

133

Shopping at Costco or Sam’s club is like driving a race car.

You go from $0 to $60 in a matter of seconds.

134

Which part of a race car ruins your movie?

Spoiler.

135

Want to learn how to stop impersonating race cars?

Don’t weeeeoooww.

136

What do you call a cheeseburger in a race car?

Fast food.

137

AMD and Nvidia should get into the race car business.

Well, I mean they already have the drivers.

138

One marathon runner started getting annoyed because before each race his pal would play a prank on him.

It was a running joke.

139

What is the worst thing about 5 Jeff Gordon Fans going over a cliff in a Monte Carlo?

A Monte Carlo Seats 6.

140

Did you hear about the happy-go-lucky fish who ran a marathon?

It just did it for the halibut.

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